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40 Days of Prayer for Motherless Daughters: 2017

By: Mary Ellen Collins

I hate the hype of Christmas!  Holidays are such a lonely time. The commercialism of the holidays drills home the loneliness I feel. Perfect Norman Rockwell family portraits splashed everywhere – magazines, ads, and TV channels. Pictures of multi-generational families gathered together with large smiles, hugs, and joyous splendor.  This is not my life.

All of this serves to remind me of what I don’t have. That is not what Christmas should be about. That is not how I should feel about Christmas, but I do.  The real Christmas is having Christ in our hearts and celebrating the birth of our Savior. How can there be room both for my self-pity and the joy of Christ?

As a motherless daughter, I am always triggered when I hear Silent Night, especially the verse, “round mother and child.”  I begin crying and then the downward spiral happens.  I focus on what I don’t have.  I have no one to call me her daughter. Then I feel guilty. I have a wonderful husband, daughter, and son-in-law. Guilt then tears, then guilt then tears  . . . and on and on until I am so parched there are no tears left.

I don’t know about you but I don’t want to go there this holiday season. I need support and prayers. I need you!  We need each other. Will you join me in a 40-day Prayer Covenant to reach motherless daughters all over the world and fill that empty place in our hearts with each other’s love and prayers? You are not alone. There is a sisterhood of motherless daughters who stand with you and are holding you through this holiday season.

Please pray with me:

“Dear Father, thank you for your grace that has made me one of your dearly loved children. Help me to know that you will fill those empty places with others who speak wisdom and truth to me. Empower me to love other motherless daughters the way you love me. Forgive me for my longing for those who are with you.  Enable me to praise you, O Lord, with all my heart. Jesus, be Lord of my life today in new ways, and change me any way you want!  Make me an instrument of your grace, truth, forgiveness, righteousness and justice. Fill me with your Holy Spirit. Use me today for your glory, and to reach motherless daughters all over the world and for them to know they are not alone.  I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

If you need prayers this holiday season SAY YES in the comments! You will be added to the prayer list. Share this post — pass this on to others.

Comments(20)

  1. Reply
    Candice says

    Yes need prayers this time is always hard as mom would visit every Christmas until she became too sick to travel

    • Reply
      Mary Ellen says

      I will keep you in my prayers. The absence is like a deep black space. It shouts out loneliness and grief. Fill that space with wonderful memories and stories about your mother. Smile and laugh. It will be hard but really I cannot believe she would want you to be any other way.

  2. Reply
    Yes Please. says

    Yes Prayers needed

    • Reply
      Mary Ellen Collins says

      Absolutely, you are surrounded!

  3. Reply
    Janine Bachelier says

    Yes, prayers and support always needed.

    • Reply
      Mary Ellen Collins says

      Prayers coming your way. Anything specific? As far as support, we are right here whenever you need us. Just reach out.

  4. Reply
    ClaudiaAJordan says

    Mom has been gone 36 yr. Miss her just the same. My best friend ever.

    • Reply
      Mary Ellen Collins says

      Time does not change our loss. Our loss becomes a part of our days. Mine has been gone. My mom has been gone 50+ years and I still miss her too.

  5. Reply
    Tonya Beaty says

    Yes

    • Reply
      Mary Ellen Collins says

      You got them coming your way. Anything specific to pray for?

    • Reply
      Mary Ellen Collins says

      Absolutely. Anything Specific?

  6. Reply
    Cathy says

    Yes. I miss my family. Especially my sisters.

    • Reply
      Mary Ellen Collins says

      Surround yourself with those who love you like family. It is so important to be connected with others.

  7. Reply
    Mary Ellen Collins says

    Surround yourself with those who love you like family. It is so important to be connected with others.

  8. Reply
    Sandy says

    Yes, prayers needed. This is our 1st holiday season without mom. She was my best friend. It hurts so bad not having her here. I’m trying to stay strong. My kids miss her dearly. My father is still struggling her loss. They were married 52 yrs. They never were apart. Their anniversary is xmas eve. Dad’s bday is Dec 15th. Just such a hard time. I can’t breath, I miss her so much.

    • Reply
      Mary Ellen says

      Sandy, I have been praying all day on how to respond to you. Your loss is on so many levels and so many miss your mom. First, I want to say something about staying strong. You do not have to be the strong one. It is OK to grieve and let others see you grieve. You hurt. It is OK. So many times we think being strong protects others. It is OK for your kids and your dad to see that you hurt too. Since this is the first Christmas without your mom maybe start a new tradition. Everyone is grieving. It is like the elephant in the room. It is there but no one
      may want to see it or talk about it. Consider bringing your mom’s memory into Christmas. Talk about it. Tears are OK. Ask your kids to talk about their favorite Christmas memories of grandma. Tell them a memory you have that they may not know. And ask your Dad to share his also. 52 years with her — she was part of his identity. Ask him to talk about things that were really important to her that he may want to carry on. I have had other women tell me they will make their mother’s special dish. Those with small children will draw a picture or write their grandmother a note. One woman’s family decided to set an extra chair at the table. Talk to your family. Ask them what they would like to do to honor your mother. I will hold you close in prayer. Always know you can reach me through email at motherlessdaughtersministry@gmail.com if I can support you in any way.

  9. Reply
    Helena Fitzgerald says

    Yes please x I am finding it hard as Christmas is getting closer how am I going to get through it without my Mum it’s the first Christmas xxx ❤

  10. Reply
    Mary Ellen says

    Helena, as hard as it, celebrate her this holiday. Recall those special times you had with her. This does not minimize her loss but helps your grief. I had a woman share with that she used the theme of the 12 days of Christmas and chose each day to honor her mother with gratitude for a special gift she had received from her mother such as cooking, knowing how to . . . It is never easy to lose those we love, but we carry them with us always. Please know that the Motherless Daughters Ministry is just a call, email or text away

  11. Reply
    Cathy says

    Yes, please pray. My loving mother passed away on October 1, 2017 and my world has fallen apart – I am beyond devasted and broken. My sadness is unbearable. Each day becomes more and more difficult as the reality of her absence hits harder and harder in my heart. I have no Christmas spirit or desire to celebrate anything! I have no mother and have no idea how to move forward. Please for me.

    • Reply
      Mary Ellen says

      Oh Cathy, I am so sorry for your loss. It is OK not to have the Christmas spirit or any desire to celebrate. Just be where you are. Sometimes we cannot move forward because we are not supposed to. We have to take care of ourselves. The only way to manage grief is to go through it. You cannot go around it. Grief is something that you don’t just get over. Cry. Shout. There will be a point when you know that you are ready to take a baby step forward and you will know this. And we will always be there for you. Stay connected with the Motherless daughters ministry.

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