Testimonies are personal statements of women who have participated in the Motherless Daughters Ministry and how it has affected their life.
The content of the class was helpful, but the people in the class are what really touched my heart. I took comfort in knowing I was not alone in this journey. It was a blessing to have such a small class, to get to know other women who are in the midst of similar situations with their mother and to get their insights on my situation. And it has been such a gift to have such amazing facilitators who have opened their hearts to us and are helping to guide us through this journey with our mothers.
Motherless Daughters Ministry changed everything. I learned more about trauma, grief and healing. I learned how to fix things that went wrong in my grief journey.
If you would have told me even a couple years ago I would be sitting in a class called Motherless Daughters I would not believe you. I would not have ever considered myself to be a “Motherless Daughter.” I knew I had difficulties in my relationship with my mom through the years, but I would not have called myself “motherless.” From the outside looking in on my family growing up most people would be jealous to have a mom like mine. Some of my friends were. My mother was very involved in my life always. She took me everywhere, was PTA president, worked at the schools, was my girl scout leader, went to all my dance practices and recitals, was always buying me things, was at my house helping when both of my sons were born, and is a very involved grandmother even today. I always felt confused and like something was wrong with me because I felt like I wanted to get away from my mom, it felt like I wanted to crawl into a shell and hide around her, I did not REALLY feel loved by her, and I always felt I had this deep mom brokenness in my heart ever since I can remember. (more…)
I turned 26 this past June. I still have very vivid memories as a 9 year old girl. Insecure. Broken. Longing. Alone. Lost. I needed someone. Anyone. To lead me and guide me. To tell me I meant something, that I was precious and valuable. Loved. My mom wasn’t available. She didn’t see me. She didn’t see that I had those needs. I had to have it all together at 9. Take care of yourself I learned. Be strong. Be tough. Make everybody happy. Keep everybody happy. I was working all the time. No rest.
I grew up. I had friendships and romantic relationships. I went to college. I became a nurse. I thought I was ok. I did my best. But I couldn’t shake that 9 yr. old girl. I could see her all the time. I could feel her pain all the time. I finally sat down and listened. I let her break. I let me break. I was so afraid. Afraid that I wouldn’t come back together again. It was rough. It is rough.
I have been blessed. To have a relationship with Jesus. To have him walk me tenderly through all this pain. To lead me to places like motherless daughters where other women walk with me through this pain. I have met amazing women. Women who get me. Who understand me and affirm me. This little group that meets on Thursdays has exceeded my expectations.
As I come to the end of this 12 week Journey, I’m excited. I’m ready to keep healing. To keep growing and becoming. All that I can be. I believe that’s possible now. I can see it up ahead. My prayer for myself and everyone who walked through this 12 weeks is that we would believe with all our hearts, that our mothers failures don’t have a say in who we are and who we can be. I pray that as we grow we forgive them, find freedom, and set them free.
The Road to Forgiveness has profoundly affected me. The material was brand new to me and so needed. I feel so much lighter and looking forward to what’s to come. People were real, honest, and appreciative of each other.
I had guilt going to church the past few months. I felt numb. My heart has softened and I’m going to church now.
In the Road to Forgiveness I found a group of women who really listen, a deeper exploration of our reality towards grief and it helped to really see who is/is not my support system so I can work on this more.
This class (The Road to Forgiveness) keeps me honest with myself, teaches me that it is necessary to forgive others and myself. Also, most importantly, letting go of what angers me.
This class helped me remain parallel with my faith and journey. Letting go of what happened in the past and not allowing these events to shape my future is important. Trusting God is so important than living in constant fear.
This class was challenging to me because I had to talk about areas in my life that I was not able to talk about. I was always shut down or felt no one really understood my situation. My feelings are important but I do feel I do not have to have my family’s validation. Most importantly, I have to trust myself first and my choices. Their opinions are theirs and I will be okay.
Having taken The Journey class and the Emotionally Absent Mother, I knew I was dealing with deep grief and tried to forgive in hopes of healing these wounds. I have not found a way that felt complete so this class (The Road to Forgiveness) caught my interest.
As a child of a narcissist, I realize the damage and ongoing challenges since there is no finite event as when someone dies. My process will be ongoing and finding healthier ways to cope as the dance of a dysfunctional family will be. Now I can choose what steps I will take or to sit it out and not dance.
Being a narcissistically wounded person, I have realized I never felt safe, loved or accepted but being in this class I felt they understood. Any kind word was like a salve to my deep pain.
For years, I worked on forgiving them. In class, I realized I never forgave myself. Deep down I took the messages of cutting ties with family as blame. How could I keep punishing myself wanting to be in touch with those who hurt me? It felt like “my fault.” I realize now it’s not. All children want their parents no matter what. Those who lost parents would give anything for one more day. I needed to forgive myself for being human and wanting human connection. It’s not my fault either.
Because of the Motherless Daughters Ministry I know that I am not alone in this journey – I have a huge network of women to belong to. I know now that I can be angry at or hate her behavior without hating my mom. I am part of the ministry by giving back. My talents are needed and appreciated.
The Motherless Daughters Ministry caused me to think about and recognize that my mom was a motherless daughter too. It helped me to realize that I have many positive traits, blessings, and abilities despite my dysfunctional childhood. I also now understand that it’s ok for me to be angry. I don’t need to feel guilty or selfish for feeling that way.