Testimonies are personal statements of women who have participated in the Motherless Daughters Ministry and how it has affected their life.
In the Road to Forgiveness I found a group of women who really listen, a deeper exploration of our reality towards grief and it helped to really see who is/is not my support system so I can work on this more.
This class (The Road to Forgiveness) keeps me honest with myself, teaches me that it is necessary to forgive others and myself. Also, most importantly, letting go of what angers me.
This class helped me remain parallel with my faith and journey. Letting go of what happened in the past and not allowing these events to shape my future is important. Trusting God is so important than living in constant fear.
This class was challenging to me because I had to talk about areas in my life that I was not able to talk about. I was always shut down or felt no one really understood my situation. My feelings are important but I do feel I do not have to have my family’s validation. Most importantly, I have to trust myself first and my choices. Their opinions are theirs and I will be okay.
Having taken The Journey class and the Emotionally Absent Mother, I knew I was dealing with deep grief and tried to forgive in hopes of healing these wounds. I have not found a way that felt complete so this class (The Road to Forgiveness) caught my interest.
As a child of a narcissist, I realize the damage and ongoing challenges since there is no finite event as when someone dies. My process will be ongoing and finding healthier ways to cope as the dance of a dysfunctional family will be. Now I can choose what steps I will take or to sit it out and not dance.
Being a narcissistically wounded person, I have realized I never felt safe, loved or accepted but being in this class I felt they understood. Any kind word was like a salve to my deep pain.
For years, I worked on forgiving them. In class, I realized I never forgave myself. Deep down I took the messages of cutting ties with family as blame. How could I keep punishing myself wanting to be in touch with those who hurt me? It felt like “my fault.” I realize now it’s not. All children want their parents no matter what. Those who lost parents would give anything for one more day. I needed to forgive myself for being human and wanting human connection. It’s not my fault either.
Because of the Motherless Daughters Ministry I know that I am not alone in this journey – I have a huge network of women to belong to. I know now that I can be angry at or hate her behavior without hating my mom. I am part of the ministry by giving back. My talents are needed and appreciated.
The Motherless Daughters Ministry caused me to think about and recognize that my mom was a motherless daughter too. It helped me to realize that I have many positive traits, blessings, and abilities despite my dysfunctional childhood. I also now understand that it’s ok for me to be angry. I don’t need to feel guilty or selfish for feeling that way.
I really felt led to take the Motherless Daughter’s class back in the summer. I knew it was the next step in my journey of healing. I had no idea how powerful these 12 weeks would be. Yes, this was a time where mourning and pain took place but it was also a time of comfort. I felt so comforted in my pain. I felt like I wasn’t alone and that gave me strength to continue to face and embrace the loss of my mother. I cannot think of a time where I felt so encouraged. So filled with hope, week after week. It’s amazing how pain can bring people together. I felt like these women knew me and loved me, even after a short time. I think if you are afraid to take this class, know that you will not be on the journey alone. The women in your class will be with you every step of the way. You will feel your burden, that heavy weight of sorrow, being carried amongst all of you. You will not be left to yourself. You will not be left alone in the pain to figure it out, to find your way. Take the step of faith. It will be worth it.
The classes have nourished my soul. I’ve been able to dig deep – unbury the hurt and deal with it. It’s been a healing journey.
I’ve seen tremendous growth and healing in myself – it has been very difficult, but at the same time, very rewarding. I’m thankful God moved me here to participate in this. I am more Christ-like because of it. I never thought these changes would be possible but they are with the help of this ministry.
I have worked through some of my grieving and mourning and that alone has helped me work through some struggles I’ve carried since my mother’s death. I feel better knowing that I’m not alone in what I have felt and gone through. I feel that knowing and understanding that in the future I may experience downs with mother loss, will make it easier to cope through the down moments, and now I have tools that will help me through those moments.
When I signed up for this class, I didn’t expect it to be easy. I did expect it to be very emotional.
First, I am struck by how working with a small group has impacted me. I am usually not comfortable in groups and resist them, but being in this small group has given me a sense of community, accountability and sisterhood. Being with others who are sharing their innermost pain has been a humbling experience and in some ways, caused me to think that my experience was perhaps not as bad as others.
At times I found the homework exercises daunting and often didn’t start them until Thursday. Since I didn’t want to let the group down, I pushed through. To my surprise, I found that the exercise wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be and found myself “taking off” with it. Most of all, the exercises did expose thoughts and feelings that I have never verbalized and certainly never shared. And forcing myself through them taught me a lesson about stepping out of my comfort zone – things aren’t really as scary as I thought they would be. And that trying something different can be rewarding.
I have also gained acceptance of my mother being who she is. By actually writing her story down, a lot of things started to make sense – not that it made them okay – but I feel like I understand her a little bit more. I am so grateful that this has occurred while she is still alive and has helped me to actually appreciate her in some ways.
I realize I have said this over and over, but sharing the feelings and slights that I have struggled with over the years, has really taken a lot of power away from them. They have made me who I am today, and while I am not perfect, I am starting to allow myself to take credit for my accomplishments and successes.
Of course, the struggle will continue. Not just with EAM (emotional absent mother) issues but numerous life issues. This class has taught me and provided tools that will help me deal with them in a better, more kind-to-myself manner.