Testimonies are personal statements of women who have participated in the Motherless Daughters Ministry and how it has affected their life.
I have worked through some of my grieving and mourning and that alone has helped me work through some struggles I’ve carried since my mother’s death. I feel better knowing that I’m not alone in what I have felt and gone through. I feel that knowing and understanding that in the future I may experience downs with mother loss, will make it easier to cope through the down moments, and now I have tools that will help me through those moments.
When I signed up for this class, I didn’t expect it to be easy. I did expect it to be very emotional.
First, I am struck by how working with a small group has impacted me. I am usually not comfortable in groups and resist them, but being in this small group has given me a sense of community, accountability and sisterhood. Being with others who are sharing their innermost pain has been a humbling experience and in some ways, caused me to think that my experience was perhaps not as bad as others.
At times I found the homework exercises daunting and often didn’t start them until Thursday. Since I didn’t want to let the group down, I pushed through. To my surprise, I found that the exercise wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be and found myself “taking off” with it. Most of all, the exercises did expose thoughts and feelings that I have never verbalized and certainly never shared. And forcing myself through them taught me a lesson about stepping out of my comfort zone – things aren’t really as scary as I thought they would be. And that trying something different can be rewarding.
I have also gained acceptance of my mother being who she is. By actually writing her story down, a lot of things started to make sense – not that it made them okay – but I feel like I understand her a little bit more. I am so grateful that this has occurred while she is still alive and has helped me to actually appreciate her in some ways.
I realize I have said this over and over, but sharing the feelings and slights that I have struggled with over the years, has really taken a lot of power away from them. They have made me who I am today, and while I am not perfect, I am starting to allow myself to take credit for my accomplishments and successes.
Of course, the struggle will continue. Not just with EAM (emotional absent mother) issues but numerous life issues. This class has taught me and provided tools that will help me deal with them in a better, more kind-to-myself manner.
I do not have anger towards my mother, I am forgiving her. It has made me understand where my patterns and thoughts originate. I have tools to prepare myself to be a better mom to my future kids.
It’s helped better my relationship with my husband. It’s made me a better mom, by helping me to see my past reactions as mother loss issues. It helped me to get out of my dark place and start seeing the world again.
For me after I took this sessions or course, it helped me to look inside of me and analyze myself when I behave in some ways. or to understand the mechanism that I used before. I like to grow as a person and I think we need to know and understand our heritage. And after that, we try to choose or do the correct way. Also, the class helped me see what can happen in our family with our own kids. There was a time where I didn’t understand some feelings or conducts but now I am more aware and better that I can take control of certain situations and feelings. The class is helping me to break the cycle that I don’t want to repeat in my own family. I enjoyed being a part of this group and all of them have a “love Lord” feel for others.
When I first learned about the Motherless Daughters class I was hesitant to join, because my mother is still alive. She has not played a mother role for me, at least since my teenage years. I am so thankful I did choose to take this class, because I found other women in similar situations, and I learned to let go of the anger I had held onto for so many years. I am finally able to release my expectations, and enjoy my mother for who she is, imperfections and all.
Motherless Daughters is a wonderful opportunity for anyone grieving the absence of a mom. The class helped me identify ways the loss had affected me as well as how to move forward. I learned skills that are very helpful now and that will also be useful for many years to come as I experience different aspects of the loss in the different seasons of my life.
It is with a heart of gratitude that l finish this course; I am thankful for our leaders who valiantly guided and invested into my life; for Mary Ellen, who followed God’s leading in her life to write such a life-changing study; for Hope Edelman, who decided to write about her experiences, having confidence that others will be encouraged along the way; for my study partners, who have helped provide provide profound perspective and insight through this Motherless Daughter study; and for my prayer partner, who has beckoned the heart of my God for His wisdom and guidance on my behalf. Over all these things, I thank my God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who through the power of the Holy Spirit, causes all these things and people to work together for His good and for my joy! Amen!!