Testimonies are personal statements of women who have participated in the Motherless Daughters Ministry and how it has affected their life.
Because of the Motherless Daughters Ministry I know that I am not alone in this journey – I have a huge network of women to belong to. I know now that I can be angry at or hate her behavior without hating my mom. I am part of the ministry by giving back. My talents are needed and appreciated.
The Motherless Daughters Ministry caused me to think about and recognize that my mom was a motherless daughter too. It helped me to realize that I have many positive traits, blessings, and abilities despite my dysfunctional childhood. I also now understand that it’s ok for me to be angry. I don’t need to feel guilty or selfish for feeling that way.
I really felt led to take the Motherless Daughter’s class back in the summer. I knew it was the next step in my journey of healing. I had no idea how powerful these 12 weeks would be. Yes, this was a time where mourning and pain took place but it was also a time of comfort. I felt so comforted in my pain. I felt like I wasn’t alone and that gave me strength to continue to face and embrace the loss of my mother. I cannot think of a time where I felt so encouraged. So filled with hope, week after week. It’s amazing how pain can bring people together. I felt like these women knew me and loved me, even after a short time. I think if you are afraid to take this class, know that you will not be on the journey alone. The women in your class will be with you every step of the way. You will feel your burden, that heavy weight of sorrow, being carried amongst all of you. You will not be left to yourself. You will not be left alone in the pain to figure it out, to find your way. Take the step of faith. It will be worth it.
The classes have nourished my soul. I’ve been able to dig deep – unbury the hurt and deal with it. It’s been a healing journey.
I’ve seen tremendous growth and healing in myself – it has been very difficult, but at the same time, very rewarding. I’m thankful God moved me here to participate in this. I am more Christ-like because of it. I never thought these changes would be possible but they are with the help of this ministry.
I have worked through some of my grieving and mourning and that alone has helped me work through some struggles I’ve carried since my mother’s death. I feel better knowing that I’m not alone in what I have felt and gone through. I feel that knowing and understanding that in the future I may experience downs with mother loss, will make it easier to cope through the down moments, and now I have tools that will help me through those moments.
When I signed up for this class, I didn’t expect it to be easy. I did expect it to be very emotional.
First, I am struck by how working with a small group has impacted me. I am usually not comfortable in groups and resist them, but being in this small group has given me a sense of community, accountability and sisterhood. Being with others who are sharing their innermost pain has been a humbling experience and in some ways, caused me to think that my experience was perhaps not as bad as others.
At times I found the homework exercises daunting and often didn’t start them until Thursday. Since I didn’t want to let the group down, I pushed through. To my surprise, I found that the exercise wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be and found myself “taking off” with it. Most of all, the exercises did expose thoughts and feelings that I have never verbalized and certainly never shared. And forcing myself through them taught me a lesson about stepping out of my comfort zone – things aren’t really as scary as I thought they would be. And that trying something different can be rewarding.
I have also gained acceptance of my mother being who she is. By actually writing her story down, a lot of things started to make sense – not that it made them okay – but I feel like I understand her a little bit more. I am so grateful that this has occurred while she is still alive and has helped me to actually appreciate her in some ways.
I realize I have said this over and over, but sharing the feelings and slights that I have struggled with over the years, has really taken a lot of power away from them. They have made me who I am today, and while I am not perfect, I am starting to allow myself to take credit for my accomplishments and successes.
Of course, the struggle will continue. Not just with EAM (emotional absent mother) issues but numerous life issues. This class has taught me and provided tools that will help me deal with them in a better, more kind-to-myself manner.
I do not have anger towards my mother, I am forgiving her. It has made me understand where my patterns and thoughts originate. I have tools to prepare myself to be a better mom to my future kids.
It’s helped better my relationship with my husband. It’s made me a better mom, by helping me to see my past reactions as mother loss issues. It helped me to get out of my dark place and start seeing the world again.
For me after I took this sessions or course, it helped me to look inside of me and analyze myself when I behave in some ways. or to understand the mechanism that I used before. I like to grow as a person and I think we need to know and understand our heritage. And after that, we try to choose or do the correct way. Also, the class helped me see what can happen in our family with our own kids. There was a time where I didn’t understand some feelings or conducts but now I am more aware and better that I can take control of certain situations and feelings. The class is helping me to break the cycle that I don’t want to repeat in my own family. I enjoyed being a part of this group and all of them have a “love Lord” feel for others.