by Marisa Saenz
What happens to you when life takes a turn for the worse? I, personally, get emotional. Most of the time, I have difficulty communicating effectively. Of course, who can? It’s times like these that most people are concentrated on surviving the hour or day. Sometimes just eating can be a chore.
Since mom died, it has been difficult to get through my hard days. We would talk to each other on the phone for hours. Even when I didn’t let her know what was going on, she knew. She would bring up the right thing to say, or bring the conversation into the right place.
That was love. Mom love.
Before she died we had a difficult conversation. And I wasn’t ready to listen to her. How could I?
She told me she wouldn’t be around forever, and that when she died, I must learn how to love myself like a mother does. She stopped and looked deep into my eyes.
This made me cry, “I don’t know how, mom.”
“You must learn. Pray if you don’t know how.”
That was three years before she died, and I put that conversation on a back shelf, not believing that mom knew what she was talking about. What prayer do I say for that?
My prayers come in many forms. Most of my prayer life is action—volunteering, making something, helping someone, or mindfully praying. Praying for someone is the most powerful, I find.
During my hectic days, praying out loud to God was commonplace. “Here you go, this is my plate…You take it.” Jesus Christ often prayed this way, and now so do I.
My home was not perfect as a child, however, the pure Love that God gives is absolute. Resting and continually seeking out His guidance has been my saving grace, taught to me by my mom and grandmother.
Children are a beautiful gift of God. Being a parent is the other side of that gift. Like student and teacher. My journey now is to learn what path I am on—student or teacher?
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