Testimonies are personal statements of women who have participated in the Motherless Daughters Ministry and how it has affected their life.
Anonymous (Emotionally Absent Mother Class)
This class made me more aware of the role my mother played / or didn’t play. Learning that “I” just fill in the gaps that under mothering left and I need to use the tools, and ask for help to fill in the gaps.
FM (Emotionally Absent Mother Class)
This class has daughter me to have more self-will. I will be cognizant of the gaps I have from being under-mothered. Page 170 spoke to me about being my own best Mother. While working on nurturing and caregiving to myself I must be careful that I don’t repeat that feeling tone of my resentful Mother. My take aways from the special people in our class are:
- We must grieve our Mother loss, use tools to fill the gaps that loss caused and if we can do that we won’t die in our dysfunction.
- I will continue to learn and embrace who I am, what I want, what I love and who I want to be.
- I must and will take an active role in my own rescue.
- I don’t just want to survive, I want to thrive
DW (Emotionally Absent Mother Class)
The class has made me recognize now many other women are out there with similar circumstances as mine with their own mother that’s worse than mine. This class has helped me organize my thoughts about just the certain ways her behavior has left a gap or hole in my personality. Taking this class has given me an opportunity to discuss with my son daughter and husband how my mother has been around me. And to hear their responses has been somewhat surprising. It has also given me and my husband a chance to come together on seeing the ways she has affected our marriage. It has given me a better understanding of his viewpoint and how he also suffered. Taking this class has helped me get clear about her behaviors towards me and how they affected me. Taking this class has introduced me to five amazing women whom I hope to run into again. Having taken this class has given me a better perspective and empathy for the other women in my life who say they had difficult mothers.
Alicia G. (Emotionally Absent Mother Class)
I’m so glad I was able to be in a group setting with some amazing women despite what we all have been through. I absolutely loved this class. It helped me out in so many ways. First of all, it helped me realize and be truthful to myself about feeling what I was dealing with. It also brought out so many emotions and how to try to deal with those emotions.
By taking this class, it was a start on a very important path on my way to healing. I am so grateful to have experienced this. Now I know how to deal with my feelings. It helped me learn and understand my mom better and to be patient with her and to try to work with her. This was a safe place – judgement free zone.
Freda (Emotionally Absent Mother Class)
The biggest discovery I have realized is that the missing puzzle piece to my brain processing has been identified. It helps me to drill down to the root cause, to be able to stop and redirect my thinking. I would blow it off and chalk it up to my incompetence and bow tie it with negative self-talk.
Sally (Emotionally Absent Mother Class)
When I came to this, I learned that my sister and I are not alone. Others have lived this same or similar frustration of unmet expectations from their moms. The class has helped me see why I do some of the things I do. It has helped me think about my own mothering and how I want to be intentional about being a good mom. I have learned some tools for healing my wounded heart.
Pam (Emotionally Absent Mother Class)
One of the greatest things I learned in this class is that I am not alone in the mother loss experience. It has helped me be more courageous and vulnerable as I heard other women candidly share their stores. This class has helped me to explore the whys behind some areas of struggle in my life. It has been a time of uncovering childhood roots to problems I experience now as an adult. Finding the root is step one on the journey to resolving the issue.
As I’ve looked at my childhood experience with my mom, I’ve grieved, I’ve been angry, I’ve cried, and I’ve released a mix of anxiety and emotions and have come to experience greater peace. I’ve made progress and there is still more progress to be made. I’ve embraced that healing is a process and that any progress is to be celebrated. Life is a journey to be lived on day at a time.
MCC (Emotionally Absent Mother Class)
I did a lot of healing with the therapy work I’ve done for several years, but I am still struggling to stay happy and simply feel OK each day. The Emotionally Absent Mother class opened my eyes to a much deeper level of hurt, heartache and loss that I’ve been carrying around with me my whole life. Even though I had a mom while growing up, she was only a faint presence in my childhood due to illness, injury and depression. This class made me realize how deep this emotional neglect goes and how badly it affected me. The small, intimate environment of the class enabled me to share my experience in a safe, supportive environment with others who knew exactly how I felt. A bonding takes place with the others in the class, allowing you to take a look at the closed-off section of your heart, where the hurt hides. The class leaders know so much and have so much experience with this; they have great suggestions and insights for all types of situations. The class gave me a good start on processing just how much I was emotionally neglected as a child, how it affected me and how to hopefully begin healing.
JP (Emotionally Absent Mother Class)
I feel this class has opened my eyes to a new me. I was able to truly talk about my past with others who truly understand what it’s like to grow up in a home with an emotionally absent mother and not feel judged . I’ve never met anyone besides my sisters who have experienced the same pain as me. Through the exercises and through reading the book I have grown tremendously. I’ve gained more wisdom and know that there is a better and more encouraging life out there and I don’t need my mother to change in order to receive this love. I hope I continue to grow and continue to help others along the way.
BCC (Emotionally Absent Mother Class)
This class has been a very positive experience for me. I was reassured and validated that I was not crazy growing up. I know I am not alone in this journey. Other have walked in these same shoes, some had experiences were worse and some better. It is time to leave the past behind and forgive my mom. I realize she probably was a motherless daughter also. I also see her issues were hers and not mine! I wish I had found this ministry in my 20’s. I wonder how my life would of been different. I plan to live the rest of my life to its fullest.