I am constantly amazed at what I have learned and am learning about relationships and who I am while reading the Old Testament. Today is another one of those light bulb moments.
If I were to describe my underlying personality, I would have to say I am a peacemaker and enabler. I am constantly evaluating my behaviors and reasons for how I respond to people and situations. It is a huge struggle to stand my ground when I think someone may become angry or hurt. Inside I am like the kid waiting to be picked for the team, jumping and screaming, “Pick me, pick me. I promise I will be good this time.” I am not saying I won’t stand my ground if I believe in something. I am saying that over the years I have learned to stand firm but it is still a battle.
Somewhere in my Christian life, I learned that God chases after us, trying to entice us into a relationship with Him. I am not sure that is 100% correct. In verse 2 God says, “Return to me and I will return to you.” This message is a consistent message in the Old and New Testament. God doesn’t chase after us like a puppy begging to be loved or chosen for adoption at the Humane Society. Verse 2 makes it quite clear that we must make a choice to be in a relationship with God. He is God; His record is clear and perfect. If that isn’t good enough then nothing is.
So how does this apply to me or people like me? I must learn that chasing after people trying to win their love and approval by pleasing them is never going to work. If they can’t love me for who I am, they never will. I can still love them, just as God loves those that reject him. I don’t need to be in a relationship with them.
I cannot be afraid of a God who teaches me through His example.
I am thankful that Jeff planted everything I wanted in the garden. All I had to do was put signs out.
I am thankful that Jeff is being called for job interviews.
I am thankful for the progress my brother is making working through the grief and anger from his pending divorce. I am so proud of him for his desire to work through it.
I am thankful for our garden and that it is our garden, a shared project.
I am thankful for the Narcissistic Mother class, Cathy and I are facilitating. Looking forward to this morning’s class.
What 5 things are you thankful for?
Thank you for teaching me about me. Thank you for teaching how to make boundaries for healthy relationships. Thank you for loving me even if I am not perfect. Thank you for reasonable expectations from us when we seek you. You never ask us to chase after you begging for a relationship. All we have to do is sincerely ask. Love me.