Random and Profound Thoughts

By: Cindy Stepanek


Zechariah 1

I am constantly amazed at what I have learned and am learning about relationships and who I am while reading the Old Testament. Today is another one of those light bulb moments.

If I were to describe my underlying personality, I would have to say I am a peacemaker and enabler. I am constantly evaluating my behaviors and reasons for how I respond to people and situations. It is a huge struggle to stand my ground when I think someone may become angry or hurt. Inside I am like the kid waiting to be picked for the team, jumping and screaming, “Pick me, pick me. I promise I will be good this time.” I am not saying I won’t stand my ground if I believe in something. I am saying that over the years I have learned to stand firm but it is still a battle.

Somewhere in my Christian life, I learned that God chases after us, trying to entice us into a relationship with Him. I am not sure that is 100% correct. In verse 2 God says, “Return to me and I will return to you.” This message is a consistent message in the Old and New Testament. God doesn’t chase after us like a puppy begging to be loved or chosen for adoption at the Humane Society. Verse 2 makes it quite clear that we must make a choice to be in a relationship with God. He is God; His record is clear and perfect. If that isn’t good enough then nothing is.

So how does this apply to me or people like me? I must learn that chasing after people trying to win their love and approval by pleasing them is never going to work. If they can’t love me for who I am, they never will. I can still love them, just as God loves those that reject him. I don’t need to be in a relationship with them.

My One
I cannot be afraid of a God who teaches me through His example.

My Five
I am thankful that Jeff planted everything I wanted in the garden. All I had to do was put signs out.
I am thankful that Jeff is being called for job interviews.
I am thankful for the progress my brother is making working through the grief and anger from his pending divorce. I am so proud of him for his desire to work through it.
I am thankful for our garden and that it is our garden, a shared project.
I am thankful for the Narcissistic Mother class, Cathy and I are facilitating. Looking forward to this morning’s class.

What 5 things are you thankful for?

Dear Lord,
Thank you for teaching me about me. Thank you for teaching how to make boundaries for healthy relationships. Thank you for loving me even if I am not perfect. Thank you for reasonable expectations from us when we seek you. You never ask us to chase after you begging for a relationship. All we have to do is sincerely ask. Love me.

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