We Can Choose How It Ends

By: Rekita Chenault

To go to a place where you can let go of all of your troubles and worries and just be free is really the final destination. A place where you can fly and just be. But how do you get to such a place?

I believe once you have lived your life and it’s time for you to eternally rest, that is when you will reach that place. Until then, there is more learning, growing, and helping to do.

You may ask, so how do you live this life so when it’s all said and done, you’ll be able to know that you truly did your best here?

We’re supposed to start learning how to do that the day we’re born. Our mother’s body is the chosen vessel in which we come out of in order to arrive in this world and thrive. As soon as we are delivered in the birthing room, the doctors and nurses immediately place our little bodies on our mother’s chest, so we can immediately feel comforted by her. After all, we were used to being so cozy within her for months. We received nutrition straight from her and heard the outside world within her belly as we grew and prepared to be welcomed into this world.

Once we do arrive, we are expecting to be nurtured by our mom. If that doesn’t end up happening, we don’t feel like we even have a mom, and it ends up being a traumatizing experience.

Your mom is supposed to teach and show you how to become an honorable woman. If not her, then who?

Well, we do have social media which can teach us, right? While there are positive aspects to it, when it comes to the majority of women on social media, they are mostly concerned about their looks and aren’t really concerned about things such as their character and morals. Our friends’ mothers can teach us, our grandmas can, our aunties can. Although they can try their best to do so, at the end of the day, no one can replace our mom teaching us how to become a woman.

I remember with me being the oldest out of 3 siblings, my mom relied on me a lot to help her out around the house. She had me babysit when she would pick up an extra shift at work, cook dinner, clean the house and do other things. To be honest, it got to a point where I had to ask myself am I helping her or am I taking her place?

I went without my mom not being there for me for many years, yet I was expected to drop everything and do what she told me to do when she told me to do it. I felt so suffocated and unwanted. A nurturing mother was something I desired but never received.

So, I know firsthand the feeling of emptiness and pain that is felt from feeling like a motherless child. I had to grow up quick so that I could take care of myself in the best way that I knew how. I remember having endless conversations with my mom on why she didn’t want to be there for me and love me. She never expressed those words, but her actions showed that is how she felt about me.

At the beautiful age of 37, I’m so thankful that I learned that even though you may have gone through or may be going through a rough time with not having your mom in your life, you can still thrive. And you do that by showing love to yourself and others, helping people however you can, and by being the change you want to see.

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