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Accepting Never

By: Lovely Marie

This week of fasting and prayer ended in a foot washing service for our St. Ministry Team.  

Mother’s Day is tomorrow. 

I feel exhausted like a child playing at the park exerting extra energy to take a good nap. My Italian porcelain basin and Gibson pitcher with roses fell to the ground in the wind and broke. Pastor Nick was preaching on John 13:1-17. In an instant without hesitation two men jumped up without direction. One grabbed the pieces while the other had a broom sweeping, together they cleaned it up. Pastor Nick didn’t skip a beat in his sermon. It was live scripture right before our eyes. When the sermon was finished, we partnered up and washed each other’s feet. I am touched by this display and simplicity of service. Scripture says Jesus washed his disciples’ feet as an example to us. 

Jesus washed Judas feet knowing he would betray him. 

I asked myself as I watched my daughter wash her husbands’ feet.  

Could I wash the feet of the woman who gave birth to me?  

Abandoned me, abused me, neglected me?  

Could I? How could I?  

I needed this woman to live. I needed this woman to breathe. I needed this woman to learn. I needed this woman to be comforted.  

She betrayed me and I know it.  

I’m not able to answer this question today.  

I live. I breathed. I learned; however haphazardly I have learned. I will never be comforted by her. I have accepted the loss. I have learned to comfort myself. Thank you; Father God for mothering me by your word in your presence as I pray and submit. Psalm 27:10 When your father and mother forsake you then I the Lord will take you up. Matt 28:20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and Lo’ I am with you until the end of the world. 

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