Having taken The Journey class and the Emotionally Absent Mother, I knew I was dealing with deep grief and tried to forgive in hopes of healing these wounds. I have not found a way that felt complete so this class (The Road to Forgiveness) caught my interest.
As a child of a narcissist, I realize the damage and ongoing challenges since there is no finite event as when someone dies. My process will be ongoing and finding healthier ways to cope as the dance of a dysfunctional family will be. Now I can choose what steps I will take or to sit it out and not dance.
Being a narcissistically wounded person, I have realized I never felt safe, loved or accepted but being in this class I felt they understood. Any kind word was like a salve to my deep pain.
For years, I worked on forgiving them. In class, I realized I never forgave myself. Deep down I took the messages of cutting ties with family as blame. How could I keep punishing myself wanting to be in touch with those who hurt me? It felt like “my fault.” I realize now it’s not. All children want their parents no matter what. Those who lost parents would give anything for one more day. I needed to forgive myself for being human and wanting human connection. It’s not my fault either.