“Just Get Over It”
“The worst wounds, the deadliest of them, aren’t the ones people see on the outside.
They’re the ones that make us bleed internally.” -Sherrilyn Kenyon
Is this the response you’ve heard, just get over it? Is there a timetable through the loss? What is the end game of walking this journey?
I once believed the goal was simply to reach the point where the crying stopped and there was no longer a need for a mom. I was aiming for numbness, indifference, and hitting deeper levels of grief every time. I wanted to go around the loss, not through it. I wanted to hide from the pain, not face what it had been doing to my heart and in my life. The pain was destroying me at every level.
Learning To Swim
“Grief is like the ocean. It comes in waves. Ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” Vicky Harrison
Surrender became the point of accepting deep down that the loss was a loss. A complex grief because moments would always arise in my future that I wish my mom could be there for.
Receiving from God. He wanted to be there for me, walk with me, nurture me, and care. Talking to Him about the pain, the loss, and disappointment, opened the door to receiving the love He had been trying to pour out on my life the entire time.
Sharing A opening of my heart to those God sent along my path, those willing to come alongside and encourage me during the moments of muck and mud.
All of these things were key to “learning to swim” no matter how big the storm felt or big the waves got.
Taking The Next Step
Healing can be messy. That’s okay because God isn’t afraid of our messes nor is He overwhelmed by His children bringing everything before Him. The mess is worth the beauty that lays ahead! Breakthrough for me didn’t come through years of counseling and retreats and inner healing appointments. It came when I stepped into an environment surrounded by other motherless daughters who understood firsthand what I was walking through.
For those wondering if the Emotionally Absent Mothers Class, Daughters or Narcissistic Mothers or Mother Loss support group is right for you, a good question to ask is, do you feel like you’re trying to get through the storm alone? I did. And I didn’t know that it didn’t have to be that way.
For more information about groups and classes offered by the Motherless Daughters Ministry, click here: https://www.motherlessdaughtersministry.com/groups-classes-list/