I Can’t See

By Mary Ellen Collins

I can’t see. Rain pouring down in buckets. Cats and dogs! Think I will take the long way home. Slower, but not as much traffic. Probably easier than the speed-crazed interstates. I don’t know that I have seen this much darkness and rain.

The dark envelopes me like some ominous creature hoping to smother me in its snare. Lights from oncoming vehicles blind me. I can’t see my way. Well, I thought this was a good idea, but now I am doubting myself. Slow and steady. Look for the yellow lines. Keep in my lane. Didn’t I replace my wipers just the other day? Still can’t see.

Lord, help me!

And now a train. This has been a three-train day. I have been stopped and delayed all day long! What is the message I am missing? I am exhausted. I have to pause. I have no choice.

Lord, help me!

Discovering God’s Message. It is the next day. Each morning, I give thanks to God. My deepest gratitude is for a safe trip home last night. As I reflect, I realize that last night is a metaphor for where my life is right now. God tells me I need to write about it.

So, my life is in the dark right now trying to look for the yellow lines to keep me moving forward. I am working hard to keep in my lane. This is the path I am on. God’s path for me. I am moving forward slowly, cautiously, trying to reach home. It is such an exhausting effort to keep focused and to keep going. The glare from the oncoming obstacles can be blinding.

The train, oh the train. It made me pause. Trains serve a purpose. We have to stop. That is what we must do. Just stop. Use this time to pray. Use this time to connect with God. I give thanks for my three-train day.

I am reminded of a book I read, Just Enough Light for the Step I Am On, by Stormie Omartian. I read this book years ago but it sure fits right now. Interesting that this archived memory comes into my consciousness at this particular time.

I need light and I need it now, Jesus!

I remember reading in the book, “Do you ever wonder how you can get where you need to go in life and move into the purpose God has for you?” Lord, is that what this is about? During those times when the road ahead seems uncertain, learn to take God’s hand and let Him lead you to places you can’t get to without Him. No question in my mind, only God can bring me home safely. I need to trust that God will give me everything I need. Learning to walk with God is a journey.

Trust God If you’re experiencing a major life-change, making an important decision, or needing encouragement to make it through the day, follow God’s lead and trust Him to provide just enough light for each step you’re on. You can trade anxiety about the future and regret over the past for joyful anticipation and peaceful assurance in the present.

Do you feel as if you are in the dark and struggling to avoid the obstacles, to keep in your lane, and to continue moving forward? More and more, God is teaching me to trust Him for every step I take. I follow His lead, even when I can’t see where I’m going.

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